WeddingSouth Indian Hindu wedding: rituals in order
Hindu weddings in Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Karnataka and Kerala are usually held in the morning, at a muhurtham chosen by the priest. The central moment in most of them is the tying of the thali or mangalsutra. Each state and community has its own rituals; these are some of the best known.
| Ritual | When | What happens |
|---|---|---|
| Nischayathartham | Before the wedding | The engagement. The families exchange a written agreement, gifts and often rings. |
| Pellikuthuru and haldi rituals | A day or two before | In Telugu families the bride and the groom are anointed with turmeric and oils at their own homes. Similar rituals exist across the south. |
| Kashi yatra | Wedding morning | In Tamil Brahmin weddings, the groom pretends to leave for Kashi to become an ascetic, and the bride's father persuades him to marry instead. |
| Oonjal | Wedding morning | The couple sit on a decorated swing while the women of the family sing and bless them. |
| Kanyadaanam | In the mandapam | The bride's father gives her hand to the groom. In Karnataka the pouring of water over the joined hands is called dhare. |
| Jeelakarra bellam | At the muhurtham | In Telugu weddings the couple, separated by a cloth, place a paste of cumin and jaggery on each other's heads at the exact auspicious time. |
| Mangalya dharanam (thali) | At the muhurtham | The groom ties the thali or mangalsutra around the bride's neck with three knots, to the sound of the nadaswaram and drums. |
| Talambralu | After the thali | In Telugu weddings the couple shower each other with rice mixed with turmeric, a playful moment. |
| Saptapadi | After the thali | The couple take seven steps together around or beside the sacred fire. |
| Sadya or wedding meal | After the ceremony | A vegetarian feast served on banana leaves. In Kerala the ceremony itself is brief and the sadya is the great event. |
Customs differ from family to family and from place to place. This is a general guide for guests and for couples learning about each other's traditions, not a rule book. Reviewed on 11 November 2026.
If you are a guest
- The wedding is in the morning and the muhurtham is exact. Come early.
- Guests bless the couple with turmeric-coloured rice (akshata) when the thali is tied.
- Silk saris and veshtis or dhotis are the traditional dress. Footwear is left outside the hall.
- On a banana leaf, the meal is eaten with the right hand. Fold the leaf towards you when you finish, as is the custom in many places.
Planning notes for the two families
The muhurtham rules the day
The priest fixes the muhurtham, often early in the morning, and the thali must be tied within it. Book the hall from the evening before, plan the bride's dressing from the small hours and arrange transport so that the close family arrives well ahead.
The priest's list
Ask the vadhyar or purohit for the full list of items: the thali and its thread, turmeric, kumkum, coconuts, betel leaves and nuts, flowers, akshata and the items for each homam. Decide which family brings what.
Music and the stage
The nadaswaram and thavil players are booked with the hall or separately, and they need to know the moment of the mangalya dharanam so that the music rises with it. Keep the stage clear enough for elders to bless the couple.
The meal
The wedding meal is served in batches on banana leaves in many communities. Agree with the caterer on the number of batches, who invites guests to each sitting and how breakfast is handled for early arrivals.
For the hour-by-hour plan of the day, see the wedding day timeline, and for jobs to hand out, who does what.
Questions people ask
What is the muhurtham?
The auspicious time fixed by the priest for the main ritual, usually the tying of the thali. It is observed to the minute.
Why three knots?
By custom the groom ties the first knot and his sister ties the other two in many communities. The meanings given to the three knots differ from family to family.
Other traditions
More wedding help
- Planning checklistEvery task from a year before to the week after, with dates.
- Budget plannerPlan and track spending head by head. Your figures stay on your phone.
- Guest listCount families and people for each side and track who is coming.
- Questions for vendorsWhat to ask the venue, caterer, photographer and others before paying.
- Wedding day timelineSample hour-by-hour plans for evening and morning weddings.
- Wedding day bagThe emergency kit and papers to carry on the day.
- Rituals explainedThe ceremonies of eight Indian wedding traditions, in order.
- Marriage registrationHow registration and court marriage work in India.
- Wedding wordingSave-the-date, announcement and thank-you messages to copy.
- Haldi, mehndi, sangeetPlanning the functions before the wedding day.
- Small weddingA simple wedding with fewer guests, planned well.
- Who does whatSharing the work between two families and the cousins.
- Outstation guestsRooms, pick-ups, welcome notes and a help desk.
- Menu planningBuilding the menu and briefing the caterer, without waste.
- Family photo listThe group photographs to plan, and how to get them quickly.
- After the weddingThank-yous, payments, returns, photographs and paperwork.