WeddingChristian wedding: rituals in order
Christian weddings in India are held in a church, with vows, rings and hymns, followed by a reception. Communities in Kerala, Goa, Mangaluru, Tamil Nadu and the North-East each add their own customs.
| Ritual | When | What happens |
|---|---|---|
| Engagement or betrothal | Months before | The families and often the priest witness the couple's promise to marry. Rings may be exchanged. |
| Banns | Weeks before | In many churches the intended marriage is announced on Sundays before the wedding. |
| Roce | The evening before | In Goan and Mangalorean Catholic families, the bride and groom are anointed with coconut milk at their homes. |
| Procession | At the church | The groom waits at the altar. The bride walks down the aisle, usually with her father. |
| Vows and rings | In the service | The couple make their vows before the priest or pastor and exchange rings. |
| Minnu or thali | In the service | In Kerala and Tamil Nadu, the groom ties a small gold pendant on a thread, the minnu or thali, around the bride's neck. In Kerala he also gives her a sari, the manthrakodi. |
| Blessing and signing the register | End of the service | The priest blesses the couple, and the couple and witnesses sign the marriage register. |
| Reception | After the service | Cake cutting, a toast to the couple, a first dance in many communities, and a meal. |
Customs differ from family to family and from place to place. This is a general guide for guests and for couples learning about each other's traditions, not a rule book. Reviewed on 11 November 2026.
If you are a guest
- Arrive before the bride. Once the service begins, enter quietly.
- Stand and sit with the congregation. You need not join prayers that are not your own.
- Photography during the service may be limited. Follow the church's rules.
- White is the bride's colour in many communities, so guests usually choose other colours.
Planning notes for the two families
The church
Meet the parish priest or pastor as early as you can. Many churches ask couples to give notice months ahead and to attend marriage preparation sessions, and they will tell you which certificates they need from each of you. Requirements differ between churches, so ask yours for its list.
The service
Choose the readings, the hymns and the choir or musicians with the priest. Decide who walks in the procession: bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, the ring bearer. Hold a rehearsal a day or two before so that everyone knows where to stand.
Rings, register and witnesses
Give the rings to one dependable person. The couple and their witnesses sign the church register after the blessing, so the witnesses must be chosen and present. Ask the church how and when the marriage certificate is issued.
The reception
A reception usually follows with a cake, a toast and the first dance. Brief the master of ceremonies with the order of events and the names he must announce.
For the hour-by-hour plan of the day, see the wedding day timeline, and for jobs to hand out, who does what.
Questions people ask
What are banns?
A public announcement of an intended marriage, read in church on Sundays before the wedding, so that anyone who knows of a reason against it can speak.
Is a church wedding legally valid in India?
Christian marriages are solemnised under the Indian Christian Marriage Act, 1872, by a person authorised under that Act, and entered in the marriage register.
Other traditions
More wedding help
- Planning checklistEvery task from a year before to the week after, with dates.
- Budget plannerPlan and track spending head by head. Your figures stay on your phone.
- Guest listCount families and people for each side and track who is coming.
- Questions for vendorsWhat to ask the venue, caterer, photographer and others before paying.
- Wedding day timelineSample hour-by-hour plans for evening and morning weddings.
- Wedding day bagThe emergency kit and papers to carry on the day.
- Rituals explainedThe ceremonies of eight Indian wedding traditions, in order.
- Marriage registrationHow registration and court marriage work in India.
- Wedding wordingSave-the-date, announcement and thank-you messages to copy.
- Haldi, mehndi, sangeetPlanning the functions before the wedding day.
- Small weddingA simple wedding with fewer guests, planned well.
- Who does whatSharing the work between two families and the cousins.
- Outstation guestsRooms, pick-ups, welcome notes and a help desk.
- Menu planningBuilding the menu and briefing the caterer, without waste.
- Family photo listThe group photographs to plan, and how to get them quickly.
- After the weddingThank-yous, payments, returns, photographs and paperwork.